ost women, it seems, want a rock. Not only do they want one on their finger, but they also want a rock in a spouse. They want someone solid, completely trustworthy, faithful, and supportive when life throws crazy curve balls.
I admit that I’ve noticed other women’s ring fingers and the rocks mounted there. Secretly, I’ve yearned for one of my own. I guess I’d have to say I must have been jealous. Some of the diamonds I’ve seen women sporting are huge! I wonder if they are rich. Or, maybe they absolutely mean the world to their spouse and this is how they received such a stone. And then, of course, I wonder if they might be fake.
When I got married, I wore a gold band. My husband and I were young and broke so we bought what we could afford. Two simple bands of gold to represent our lifelong commitment to each other. That was good enough for me.
When we were married five years, my husband bought me an engagement set which included a beautiful diamond ring. I wore it often, but always kept my gold band on my left finger. It was sweet of him and very thoughtful.
On our twenty-sixth wedding anniversary, my husband bought me another ring. It was one I’d swooned over when I spied it in a sales bill and jokingly said he should get it for me. I threw the sales bill away and didn’t think of it again. On Christmas morning, I discovered the ring wrapped and sitting within the branches of our Christmas tree. He’d dug the sales bill out of the trash can, went to the store, and requested the ring from the clerk at the jewelry counter. He placed it in the branches of the tree for me to find on Christmas morning.
A LITTLE HISTORY
It’s even sweeter when you know a little bit of our history. We met in the fifth grade. We were best friends through high school but didn’t date until after we graduated. Then, we fell in love and married. We raised three boys living in Middle Tennessee. I’d love to say that every day was bliss and we never had any problems. However, that’s not reality. We filed for divorce in 2013 and it was the worst year of my life.
One night, I slipped my gold band from my ring finger and placed it on the nightstand.
How did we get to this terrible place?
“sadly, i believe most people don’t even realize they are in trouble until the relationship is nearly destroyed.”
Sadly, I believe most people don’t even realize they are in trouble until the relationship is nearly destroyed. Then they seek help. By then, it can be too little – too late. I must admit that counseling didn’t really help us until after we reconciled and were both on the same page. The true Counselor who glued us back together was the Holy Spirit and He didn’t collect a co-pay.
Somehow, we worked our way back together through forgiveness and reconciled the same year. It’s the first time that I really extended grace and forgiveness in the way that God intends for us to do as Christians. It’s very difficult. Now, I have a greater appreciation of God’s grace and great forgiveness of my own sins.
I’d love to say that I have five helpful hints for saving your marriage below but I don’t. Truthfully, I believe God alone saved our marriage but we were both willing to obey. It is quite a miracle, actually. I’m so thankful for what we went through even though it was horrible and I’d never wish it on anyone else.
Today, we are more thankful for each other, more caring toward each other, more thoughtful, more loving and more everything else that is good because of that terrible year. How I wish it didn’t come to that but now my marriage is stronger because of it. I love my husband very deeply and I cherish my marriage.
What I learned most through this is really about God. I no longer look at the ring on another person’s finger and wonder how they got that rock.
I’m so aware that I already have a Rock that’s better than any gem that could be mounted on a ring. My Rock was with me through the most difficult time of my life. He never left me nor did He forsake me during my time of trial. He showed Himself to me through His mighty work. No ring or stone on earth can compare to this. He is who I trust more than anyone else. He is solid and never wavers in His love for me. He has my best interest at heart every single moment of every day. He never fails me.
So, if you find yourself admiring the gigantic diamond on someone’s ring finger just remember who the Rock really is – Jesus Christ.
“The true Counselor who glued us back together was the Holy Spirit and He didn’t collect a co-pay.”
I hope you know Him. I hope you trust Him. He is the one and only Rock you will ever need in this life.
By: Melinda Eye Cooper
Melinda grew up in the Missouri Ozarks but moved to Tennessee in 1992 with her husband. She’s a member of ACFW and Word Weavers Int. They have three boys, a daughter-in-law, a new granddaughter, and a spunky dog named Lincoln. Melinda enjoys making desserts for her husband, long walks, and spending time with her family. You can visit her blog here.